Occupations 

Two small boys meet for the first time on the first day of the school year.

“My name’s Billy,” says the first boy. “What’s yours?”

“Tommy,” says the second boy.

“My dad’s an accountant. What’s your dad?” Billy asks.

“He’s a lawyer,” Tommy replies.

“Honest?” Billy asks enthusiastically.

“No, the regular kind,” Tommy says.

Gary – Georgia

Alike

Mary and her eight sisters were looking through a family photo album one day with their mother, and they noticed that in each photograph, all of them were dressed alike.

Curious as to why, Mary asked her mother, “Why did you dress all of us in identical clothing, Mom?”

“Well, after we had our fourth daughter, we began dressing you all alike so we wouldn’t lose any of you,” her mother explained. “Then, when the other five of you girls came along, we decided to continue dressing you alike so we wouldn’t pick up any children who didn’t belong to us.”

Don – Maryland

New Duties

Jim, a first-time father, loved spending time with his baby daughter, Emily, but he often turned to his wife, Cathy, for advice.

Cathy was just getting out of a hot bath one day, when Jim hollered upstairs to her.

“Hey, honey, what should I feed Emily for lunch?”

“That’s up to you,” Cathy replied. “There’s all kinds of food in the cupboard. You pick. In fact, just pretend I’m not home.”

A few minutes later, while Cathy was just settling comfortably into bed for a nap, her cell phone rang.

Without checking the caller-ID, she picked it up and said, “Hello.”

“Hi, honey, it’s me,” Jim said. “What should I feed Emily for lunch?”

Ross – New York